I am Mitle Southey. I am a circle holder, intuitive guide and founder of Circle School. Everything I do is to support my mission, which is to help as many women as possible experience the transformative power of circles.

A big part of that is mentoring women on the art of being a circle holder, and helping them create circles in their communities and as part of their business.

Today I talk about 7 beautiful steps for filling your circles.

1. Have Profound Clarity

Make sure you have profound clarity on how many people you want in your circle. Do you want an intimate circle of 4? 8? 10? 12? Really commit to how many women you want.

One thing I do is create a virtual circle with Post It notes on the wall. As each woman books a spot, I write her name on one of the Post It Notes and a big love heart and say ‘thank you’.

Have a visual representation, so you can really honour each woman as they join your circle. Remind yourself that as each woman joins, they are contributing to the energy of the circle. The first woman who joins is always so special to me, as she is joined with me, and she is helping me call in those other women who will gather with us.

2.  Raise Your Vibration!

What is the feeling state you are embodying when you are sharing your circle? When you are talking about it? When you are creating a graphic or poster? Or sharing it with the venue you’re holding it at? Check in with yourself when you’re talking about it. Do whatever you need to do to raise your vibration and get into that space, that energy that you want women to feel. Give them a taste of your energy.

That might involve going for a beautiful walk in nature. Or turn some music on and dance it out. Perhaps it’s chanting or drumming. Jumping up and down. Exercising. It’s whatever it is for you to get into the feeling state that is going to ripple out. So when you are posting, sharing, talking about your circle, the women you are talking to are meeting with your beautiful energy of enthusiasm. Of joy. Of love for the circle. As opposed to an energy of irritation or desperation. It’s all about energy, and the energetic resonance you have when you’re calling in the women you want in your circle.

3.  Visualise Your Circle in as Much Detail as Possible.

Take time to sit in heart coherence or meditation or whatever brings you into that beautiful state. Take yourself through that circle. Use your imagination. Take yourself on a journey from when you arrive in the space, whether that’s online or in person. Imagine when you greet those women who are joining you.  See all of you taking your place in the circle. See the number of women you decided are coming in. See each of them. See the centrepiece or the alter or the mandala.

As you are imagining the scene, as you look at each of the faces of the women, you may find you recognise some. There may be a prompt to remind you, ‘Oh, I’ll reach out to her’.  

Take yourself through the welcome. The opening ceremony. The creation of the centerpiece. The heart of the ceremony. You’ll have clarity on your theme. You’ll know what you’ll be sharing.

Do this as many times as you need. You might do this every day leading up the the start. Or once a week.

It’s a very powerful step in getting into energetic alignment with that vision that you are holding.

4.  Act as if…

Once you’ve got yourself into that energetic state and you have visualised, then act as if that circle is full. See how that impacts in the way you show up. See how that informs the conversations you are having. And how that helps you to stay in that place of enthusiasm and joy and excitement for your circle.

If you find yourself waning, and it’s not filling up as quickly as you’d like and people aren’t booking, come back to your energetic state. Tune it to what feels out of alignment. Go within and see if there’s something there. See what’s going on.

One of the ways I ‘act as if’ is to pay for the venue. Once I do that,  it’s like an activation switch inside me that tells me that the circle is going ahead, so I commit to showing up, regardless.

5.  Gratitude

As I said earlier, I often creating a virtual circle on my wall with Post It Notes. As each woman books her place, I write her name, a lovely big love heart, and I say, ‘Thank you so much’.

There are also practical steps. I send out an email to say thank you and confirm details.

It’s about coming into deep gratitude. Focus of the women who book, rather than focusing on how many haven’t.

If you aim for 12 (for example), and you have 4 booked, it can be very easy to focus on the 8 vacant places instead of having deep gratitude for the 4 who have. The more you focus on the empty places, the more empty they stay.

The more you can pull yourself into that place of appreciation and gratitude, the more you can maintain that absolute knowing that your circle is going to be perfect, and the more you can maintain the energy and belief that that gathering of women will take place, and it will be exactly as it is meant to be.

Every group of women gather for a purpose, and a lot of that purpose is unseen, and we may never know it. The more you are in alignment and committed to showing up, the more you’re holding that space for the women to join you, the more likely your circle will fill.

6. Hold the Faith

There are practical, beautiful steps you can take to make it easy for people to book. Talk about it with confidence. Share when it is. Allow women to know that it’s happening. Show that it’s available for them to book in. Then remember that we all have different purchasing ways. Some women book very early on. You also have women like me, who are total ‘last minuters’. I will always allow women to book right up until the circle starts. I assume. I act as if. That may mean that somebody arrives on the day and has to pay on the day. So just remember consumer behaviour differs. Some book early. Some book late. And there’s likely to be a gap in the middle when no one is booking, and that is where holding the faith is so, so important.

Hold your vibration high. Keeping speaking from that space. Keep sharing it. Keep visualising it. Keep acting as if, because you know it’s going to happen.

If you can create content, buy the supplies, and keep taking the steps as if it’s going to happen, you will come through that phase in the middle, where perhaps no one is booking in.

7. Surrender

Come from a place of being of service. Step out of the way that it’s all about you. Remembering that it’s about the women who are joining you.

Remember that each circle is its own entity. Connect to the soul, the spirit of your circle. You’ll often receive guidance or an idea of a particular person to reach out to, or a particular place or time to share your circle. I really ask you to embrace the energetic preparation. It is SO important.

Practical preparation such as having a booking link, booking the venue etc, as well as energetic preparation are both important.  We can’t ignore one or the other.

Act as if. Have faith. Know that your circle will be complete and exactly as it should be.  

Have faith and trust. If things don’t go according to plan, know there are reasons for how things play out that may be unseen in our current reality. Check in with where you were in terms of clarity, visualisation, energy and so on. If you really feel you did all that, surrender it. Let it go. Know that, for whatever reason, that whole process has served a purpose that may not be obvious to you.


If you have any questions, come over to the Facebook page and join the conversation there and tag me in so I can respond.


Big love

Mitle xo


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