042 Mitle Southey: You as a Circle Holder

Hello and welcome!

I am Mitle Southey. I am an intuitive guide and circle holder. I’m on a mission to help as many women as possible experience the transformative power of circles.

Today we are talking about YOU as a circle holder. Your role as a circle holder, but more importantly, claiming your unique quirks and gifts as a circle holder.

I really want to encourage you to have the courage and confidence to step into that role. Or if  you’re already holding circles, to deepen your capacity as a holder, and to continue to expand your understanding of holding space.

Through circle school, we look at you as a whole. In week 2, we go through who we are as a circle holder. We look at our unique quirks. Our unique gifts. We connect with the soul of our circle, understanding that she is a separate entity to us, but she’s coming through us. We are her human. So we look at how that relationship can work most effectively.

Then we ask who are we serving with our circles? Who is it we wish to bring these to? Why? Why are we choosing to gather women in this way?

Claiming your unique quirks and gifts.

I love the word ‘quirks’ because we are all quirky. We all have those things that make us who we are. So think about your own journey. Your own life experience. All the things that have brought you to THIS moment in time and space. To this place in your life. And really be willing to go on a journey of self discovery.

Who are you? What do you stand for? What do you stand against? What is it that you want to share with the magic of circles? Why do you want to hold circles?

It’s a process of gathering the threads from your lived experience. Your culture. Your heritage. From the country you are in. From your own rituals and ceremonies. From the modalities you are trained in. From your professional experience. It’s about bringing all these threads together of who you are and being willing to have a journey of self discovery. Be willing to go within to see who you are as a circle holder.

One of the elements that still surprises me, yet I still see it every single time I hold circle school, is that we have a collective fear of stepping into this role and holding space for others. From my experience of working with so many women, I find that it still stems from the history of the witch hunt. From us being persecuted and killed for stepping into roles where we supported other people. Where we were healers. Where we conducted rituals and ceremonies for each other.

We have been stopped from doing that for such a long time that there is this incredibly powerful collective energy around that. And that is why I use the word ‘courage’ when I’m asking us to step into this role of circle holder.

On the face of it, in this moment in time and space, for those of us living in the UK or Australia or New Zealand or the USA (and many other countries) we can step into this role. We are not going to be persecuted or killed for it. But still it can hold us back. In week 2 of the curriculum, we really unpack that and examine, ‘What is actually holding us back?’.

We also focus on looking at our quirks and gifts and really claiming those. There are fun personality tests you can do. They don’t have to define you. But they can give you an insight into who you are. They can give you an introduction to a part of you that you may not have connected with.

For me, the Myers & Briggs test was so powerful because it gave me an understanding of being an introvert. That introversion is a super power, and I think it’s a super power for a lot of circle holders. It’s often the thing that we think makes us less, that is actually our super power. It’s the thing that makes us unique. It’s the quirk that gives us that beautiful energetic resonance with the women who are called to work with us.

Becoming a circle holder is a journey of becoming our fullest and truest expression of ourselves. Each time you show up for your circle, you are learning more. You are deepening your understanding of yourself. You are also deepening your capacity as a space holder.

When I started holding circles, I was very serious!  I didn’t bring my humour. My wit. It’s like I left that aspect of me at the door because I took this role very seriously and was scared of getting it wrong.

As this journey has unravelled for me (in a good way!), I can now bring my humour. Sometimes even my sarcasm (I warn people). It’s about being allowed to bring all of us to that. And then when we look at who we are serving, that’s where this is so important.

This is why we need so many circles. There isn’t one circle fits all. We can bring circles across so many themes, across so many areas, for so many groups of women. So it is really important to understand your role in this, and who you are as you step into this role. And this will grow and evolve over time.

Connecting with the soul of your circle

Remember that she (the soul of your circle) is her own entity. We are the vessel for her to come through. I can forget this sometimes forget this and fall into the trap of thinking it’s about me.  What am I doing? How am I showing up? Am I doing all the things?

So when that little inner voice tells me that I’m not good enough, I can side step that and remind myself that it actually is not about me. I have one quite easy job, which is to LISTEN. And to SHARE. And then everything starts to flow again. We find our rhythm and everything comes back.

Meeting with the Spirit of your Circle

One of the things we do in circle school is that I take you on a guided journey to meet the spirit, the essence of circle. This is something you can do for yourself. Take yourself on a journey. Go into heart coherence or meditation and start to visualise that journey. In your mind, take yourself to a beautiful place or a sacred space. Imagine yourself there. As you allow yourself to get quiet, connect inwards. Then ask to meet the spirit of your soul, or circle. You can do this for your business as well. You can do this for any project. Ask to meet her. Sit with her. Let her appear in whatever form she takes. Let go of any expectation. When you are in her presence, feel into her energy. Take the opportunity to ask her a question. It could be ‘What would you have me do? What would you have me know?’.

I recommend journaling afterwards. Just stream of consciousness journaling. The more you connect. The more you listen. The more you journal. The deeper your understanding of your role as a circle holder will become.

Who Are You Serving?

The third part of the curriculum is looking at who you are serving. Who are you for? There are ways for circles to be for a particular group of women. A particular niche, for example, mothers and daughters, or teens, or tweens. Angela Counsel, for example, holds Wise Women’s Circle for women going through menopause.

There’s also a wonderful way to hold circles across age and across experience. You can have open circles that anybody can attend. So it’s a matter of exploring why you are holding circles and who you are serving.

Within this area of the curriculum, we also look at being inclusive. What is your inclusivity policy? How do we make sure that our circles are inclusive to all women, regardless of cultural background, race, and so on. We look at where we can ensure we are reaching out to all women, and making sure that all women know that they are welcome.

I hope that gives you some insight and some pointers of things you can do and think about.

If you have any questions, come over to the Facebook page and join the conversation there and tag me in so I can respond.

Big love

Mitle xo