Hello and welcome to this episode of the Spirited Sisters Podcast. I am beyond excited to be joined today by the one and only Carlie Maree. Carlie is a dear friend and a woman whose work I have dived into since meeting her on retreat. And we’re also in a Mastermind together.
She has a capacity to take complex information and teach it in a way that is truly understandable. Her drive and devotion to helping women make a difference in the world is impeccable. She’s building an incredible community of dynamic and powerful women. Through this she has created Soul Modes, a framework which is really enhancing that community’s capacity to show up, to make a difference and to be all of themselves.
Carlie is curious. She’s inquisitive. She asks absolutely incredible questions. I am so honoured to have her as a guest today.
Carlie, how did you come to understand that we are not one ordinary woman but we are four extraordinary women?
Soul Modes is a lifelong research project that I’m a couple of years into playing with. Around 2 years ago, the life plan had I created, that is, to get the husband, the 2 and a half kids, the white picket fence, that dream life I thought I was building was ripped out from underneath me. My marriage broke down and I was not okay.
I’d spent a lot of time in my marriage thinking I was crazy. I was always up and down. I felt like I was always a bit all over the place and on an emotional roller coaster. I knew my husband found me a challenge to deal with as a result. I was trying to fix my marriage and I was convinced I was a bit broken.
Through the healing process I read lots of personal development books and tried to figure myself out. I started trying to figure out when I felt good and when I didn’t and what was going on. I started tracking the moon, learning about lunar cycles, working with crystals, trying meditation and different healers.
I learned about this idea that we cycle through 4 different phases through our menstrual cycle. So I tried tracking the moon and the menstrual cycle and I tried to figure out my pattern. I tried to track my motivation and mood to see if I could ‘hack’ it. I found that nothing was working for me.
One day in a meditation I had a very clear voice come to me and say, ‘There is nothing wrong with you.’ So I decided to stop looking outwards and I started looking in.
I started journaling each day and figuring out what I needed and I found there was a really clear pattern. Four modes. I gave them 4 nicknames.
I realised my moods happened exactly in the same order. I started talking about it. I started finding it was happening to others! And Soul Modes was born!
When I first heard this I was skeptical. I track the moon and menstrual cycle. It pushed my buttons as it seemed contrary to that. But I have become a passionate convert. Can you give us an overview?
The Four modes together I call a ‘Soul Cycle’. The four modes that make up the Soul Cycle I call the Soul Modes. They are Wild Mode, Bear Mode, Super Mode and Sparkle Mode.
It’s like at any time we have all four women inside us, but only one of them is driving, the others take back seats so that she (the ‘driver’) can get what she needs.
We often talk about having to ‘fill our cup’. We don’t just have one. We have four cups. This approach is a radical take on self care.
In each mode there’s a deep yearning. When that yearning gets filled, we shift into the next mode. If you pay attention and track this, you’re going to speed this thing up. So your output will increase, your motivation and growth massively explode. It’s indescribably powerful.
So can you explain the four modes? The four woman inside us?
She’s my favourite. She’s a wild woman. She wants to make changes. She’s the CEO of your life. She decides what needs to change for you to move forward to the next level version of you, so that you can grow.
That can come out as frustration at the lack of progress. The whispers in the back of your mind of discontent become intolerable. This is when you might need to declutter, kick start your fitness and diet for example.
It’s unimaginable for your wild woman that you don’t already have the life that deep down in your soul you know you’re supposed to have.
But if you don’t know you’re in wild mode, you might just start tearing the house apart and get cranky with everybody.
You need to find an outlet for her. Like cleaning out a cupboard. Art. Writing. Journalling. Shopping.
The plunge into bear mode can feel challenging, particularly if you’ve had an intense Wild Mode. The motivation to make changes drops and it becomes a sense of stillness. Some of the underlying thought patterns and limiting beliefs/inner critic stuff comes to the surface.
This is the time where you can feel in a slump, unmotivated, and question your abilities.
Bear mode is like when you have a dripping tap in your house that you’re not aware of until the noise stops and it’s quiet enough to hear. It’s the time you realise what needs attention to be fixed.
It’s the time you can address the underlying things that are happening that are stopping you from achieving what your wild woman wants to do.
If you have ambitions in wild mode, then in bear mode all your self doubt about achieving that comes up.
If you know this, it’s powerful, because you have the opportunity to deal with that. To journal through that or meditate on it. To bust some fears.
Sometimes what you need in bear mode is a rest and a nap.
This is when you feel, ‘I can do everything! In fact I will right now! Let me write a list!’. This is when you decide to get a wall planner, a diary, create a meal plan and take action.
It has a masculine vibe. It’s a time you can get frustrated with people not keeping up with your pace.
Your Inner super human craves tangible results. She wants to get shit done. She wants to write a list and tick stuff off.
Fluffing around and meditating is hard at this time.
If you run a business, you’ll probably get most of your week’s work done in this mode.
Sparkle Mode is beautiful. If we were in Super Mode all the time, the people around us would probably feel neglected, because we are focused on our work and wanting to get things done.
Sparkle mode is like we’re a sparkly fairy. Very nurturing. Quite feminine. It’s a motherly energy.
Your inner Sparkly Fairy craves connection. When we crave connection and want to be very present, this is sparkle. Want to make love. We want to cuddle our babies.
The challenge is we have no focus whatsoever. I have always been in Sparkle Mode when I drop my laptop or ding the car when parking.
We need to find ways to keep ourselves on track.
How do you recommend we track our modes?
Ask yourself, ‘What do I feel like doing today?’. Do you feel like snuggling with your babies or doing a big keynote talk? Take note of what you are craving.
Also, share this with the women around you. Often they can reflect back to you where you are at.
It can be challenging to pick what mode you’re in right now, because you think, ‘I’m always like this!’. So note down what you are craving, and then notice how it changes.
It’s easier to spot the pattern than it is to spot the mode you’re in right now. You can begin to notice the contrast between modes.
Soul Modes for Motivation and Self Care
As women we can work with knowing there is meaning to our modes and that we can work with them.
Your Wild woman is the CEO. She wants to get you to where you want to be. Your next level version of you.
Bear Mode is board of directors. Their job is to lock themselves away in a room and have a look at what the CEO wants and then look at the risks and check whether it’s right and in line with our values.
Being in tune with your Soul Modes means you can understand how to fill your cup. The quicker you fill you cup, the quicker you cycle through your Soul Modes. If you put drips of water into a cup, it’s going to take a lot longer to fill. The more you fill your cup, the quicker you can move on.
With the women I’ve studied, in the beginning each mode generally takes 4-5 days. Once they have become aware and have taken care of themselves accordingly, it generally has gone down to around 2 days.
Not wanting to get out of bed does not necessarily mean depression. Sometimes it’s just self care and it will pass. You can just surrender to it. The more you surrender, the more Super you can be on the other side.
My advice is to let each woman, each mode, do their job.
Soul Modes and Business
Ask what the next level version of me would do next. It’s great for creating Ideas for great content and courses.
Ask who will I need to be (to be my desired future self)? How does she dress like? How does she spend her days? How can I do that now?
She’s you from your future and she’s come back, looking around saying, ‘Nah! This has to change! That has to change!’. She’s all about big vision stuff.
Is she is wanting to make irreversible changes, I run it through all 4 modes first!
If you can, take time off. The more you take care of yourself, the more you are taken care of. Post pre-prepared quote cards for when you don’t feel like doing social media. Work through your negative thoughts. It’s time to see them, face them, release them and let them go. Time for a shower cry. It might not look productive, but it can be the most important work.
At this time, I work in bed, in my pyjamas with a cup of tea.
This is a masculine energy. Super is Head of Operations. She gets things done. It’s time to write a list, a spreadsheet, work through actions. It’s a great time for going through emails, doing admin, creating content. Live streaming content. Let her take care of all that. It feels good to get things done.
My whole philosophy is life gets to feel good, so you do what feels good in any mode.
This is a great time for manifestation because it’s so high vibe. In the morning, I write down what I want to call in for the day, for example, ‘Lots of cuddles, dancing, 2 big sales and a new great opportunity.’
The Sparkly Fairy is Head of People and Culture. She makes sure that everyone feels connected and is okay and is getting along.
I don’t work on Sparkle nights. That’s my rule. For me, it’s time for love. For a movie night. It’s an opportunity to involve and care of family.
Sometimes it’s about getting your hair or nails done. Anything to feel good.
Collaborations and networking are great in sparkle.
Carlie Maree has a seasonal planner that allows you to track your Soul Modes.
She also has merchandise so you signal to your friends which mode you are in.
Carlie is a mentor for the MAD (Make a Difference) women who want to do their work in the world.
Follow her on the socials and head to her website for more information.