042 Mitle Southey: You as a Circle Holder

Hello and welcome!

I am Mitle Southey. I am an intuitive guide and circle holder. I’m on a mission to help as many women as possible experience the transformative power of circles.

Today we are talking about YOU as a circle holder. Your role as a circle holder, but more importantly, claiming your unique quirks and gifts as a circle holder.

I really want to encourage you to have the courage and confidence to step into that role. Or if  you’re already holding circles, to deepen your capacity as a holder, and to continue to expand your understanding of holding space.

Through circle school, we look at you as a whole. In week 2, we go through who we are as a circle holder. We look at our unique quirks. Our unique gifts. We connect with the soul of our circle, understanding that she is a separate entity to us, but she’s coming through us. We are her human. So we look at how that relationship can work most effectively.

Then we ask who are we serving with our circles? Who is it we wish to bring these to? Why? Why are we choosing to gather women in this way?

Claiming your unique quirks and gifts.

I love the word ‘quirks’ because we are all quirky. We all have those things that make us who we are. So think about your own journey. Your own life experience. All the things that have brought you to THIS moment in time and space. To this place in your life. And really be willing to go on a journey of self discovery.

Who are you? What do you stand for? What do you stand against? What is it that you want to share with the magic of circles? Why do you want to hold circles?

It’s a process of gathering the threads from your lived experience. Your culture. Your heritage. From the country you are in. From your own rituals and ceremonies. From the modalities you are trained in. From your professional experience. It’s about bringing all these threads together of who you are and being willing to have a journey of self discovery. Be willing to go within to see who you are as a circle holder.

One of the elements that still surprises me, yet I still see it every single time I hold circle school, is that we have a collective fear of stepping into this role and holding space for others. From my experience of working with so many women, I find that it still stems from the history of the witch hunt. From us being persecuted and killed for stepping into roles where we supported other people. Where we were healers. Where we conducted rituals and ceremonies for each other.

We have been stopped from doing that for such a long time that there is this incredibly powerful collective energy around that. And that is why I use the word ‘courage’ when I’m asking us to step into this role of circle holder.

On the face of it, in this moment in time and space, for those of us living in the UK or Australia or New Zealand or the USA (and many other countries) we can step into this role. We are not going to be persecuted or killed for it. But still it can hold us back. In week 2 of the curriculum, we really unpack that and examine, ‘What is actually holding us back?’.

We also focus on looking at our quirks and gifts and really claiming those. There are fun personality tests you can do. They don’t have to define you. But they can give you an insight into who you are. They can give you an introduction to a part of you that you may not have connected with.

For me, the Myers & Briggs test was so powerful because it gave me an understanding of being an introvert. That introversion is a super power, and I think it’s a super power for a lot of circle holders. It’s often the thing that we think makes us less, that is actually our super power. It’s the thing that makes us unique. It’s the quirk that gives us that beautiful energetic resonance with the women who are called to work with us.

Becoming a circle holder is a journey of becoming our fullest and truest expression of ourselves. Each time you show up for your circle, you are learning more. You are deepening your understanding of yourself. You are also deepening your capacity as a space holder.

When I started holding circles, I was very serious!  I didn’t bring my humour. My wit. It’s like I left that aspect of me at the door because I took this role very seriously and was scared of getting it wrong.

As this journey has unravelled for me (in a good way!), I can now bring my humour. Sometimes even my sarcasm (I warn people). It’s about being allowed to bring all of us to that. And then when we look at who we are serving, that’s where this is so important.

This is why we need so many circles. There isn’t one circle fits all. We can bring circles across so many themes, across so many areas, for so many groups of women. So it is really important to understand your role in this, and who you are as you step into this role. And this will grow and evolve over time.

Connecting with the soul of your circle

Remember that she (the soul of your circle) is her own entity. We are the vessel for her to come through. I can forget this sometimes forget this and fall into the trap of thinking it’s about me.  What am I doing? How am I showing up? Am I doing all the things?

So when that little inner voice tells me that I’m not good enough, I can side step that and remind myself that it actually is not about me. I have one quite easy job, which is to LISTEN. And to SHARE. And then everything starts to flow again. We find our rhythm and everything comes back.

Meeting with the Spirit of your Circle

One of the things we do in circle school is that I take you on a guided journey to meet the spirit, the essence of circle. This is something you can do for yourself. Take yourself on a journey. Go into heart coherence or meditation and start to visualise that journey. In your mind, take yourself to a beautiful place or a sacred space. Imagine yourself there. As you allow yourself to get quiet, connect inwards. Then ask to meet the spirit of your soul, or circle. You can do this for your business as well. You can do this for any project. Ask to meet her. Sit with her. Let her appear in whatever form she takes. Let go of any expectation. When you are in her presence, feel into her energy. Take the opportunity to ask her a question. It could be ‘What would you have me do? What would you have me know?’.

I recommend journaling afterwards. Just stream of consciousness journaling. The more you connect. The more you listen. The more you journal. The deeper your understanding of your role as a circle holder will become.

Who Are You Serving?

The third part of the curriculum is looking at who you are serving. Who are you for? There are ways for circles to be for a particular group of women. A particular niche, for example, mothers and daughters, or teens, or tweens. Angela Counsel, for example, holds Wise Women’s Circle for women going through menopause.

There’s also a wonderful way to hold circles across age and across experience. You can have open circles that anybody can attend. So it’s a matter of exploring why you are holding circles and who you are serving.

Within this area of the curriculum, we also look at being inclusive. What is your inclusivity policy? How do we make sure that our circles are inclusive to all women, regardless of cultural background, race, and so on. We look at where we can ensure we are reaching out to all women, and making sure that all women know that they are welcome.

I hope that gives you some insight and some pointers of things you can do and think about.


If you have any questions, come over to the Facebook page and join the conversation there and tag me in so I can respond.

Big love

Mitle xo


041 Mitle Southey: Filling Your Circles

I am Mitle Southey. I am a circle holder, intuitive guide and founder of Circle School. Everything I do is to support my mission, which is to help as many women as possible experience the transformative power of circles.

A big part of that is mentoring women on the art of being a circle holder, and helping them create circles in their communities and as part of their business.

Today I talk about 7 beautiful steps for filling your circles.

1. Have Profound Clarity

Make sure you have profound clarity on how many people you want in your circle. Do you want an intimate circle of 4? 8? 10? 12? Really commit to how many women you want.

One thing I do is create a virtual circle with Post It notes on the wall. As each woman books a spot, I write her name on one of the Post It Notes and a big love heart and say ‘thank you’.

Have a visual representation, so you can really honour each woman as they join your circle. Remind yourself that as each woman joins, they are contributing to the energy of the circle. The first woman who joins is always so special to me, as she is joined with me, and she is helping me call in those other women who will gather with us.

2.  Raise Your Vibration!

What is the feeling state you are embodying when you are sharing your circle? When you are talking about it? When you are creating a graphic or poster? Or sharing it with the venue you’re holding it at? Check in with yourself when you’re talking about it. Do whatever you need to do to raise your vibration and get into that space, that energy that you want women to feel. Give them a taste of your energy.

That might involve going for a beautiful walk in nature. Or turn some music on and dance it out. Perhaps it’s chanting or drumming. Jumping up and down. Exercising. It’s whatever it is for you to get into the feeling state that is going to ripple out. So when you are posting, sharing, talking about your circle, the women you are talking to are meeting with your beautiful energy of enthusiasm. Of joy. Of love for the circle. As opposed to an energy of irritation or desperation. It’s all about energy, and the energetic resonance you have when you’re calling in the women you want in your circle.

3.  Visualise Your Circle in as Much Detail as Possible.

Take time to sit in heart coherence or meditation or whatever brings you into that beautiful state. Take yourself through that circle. Use your imagination. Take yourself on a journey from when you arrive in the space, whether that’s online or in person. Imagine when you greet those women who are joining you.  See all of you taking your place in the circle. See the number of women you decided are coming in. See each of them. See the centrepiece or the alter or the mandala.

As you are imagining the scene, as you look at each of the faces of the women, you may find you recognise some. There may be a prompt to remind you, ‘Oh, I’ll reach out to her’.  

Take yourself through the welcome. The opening ceremony. The creation of the centerpiece. The heart of the ceremony. You’ll have clarity on your theme. You’ll know what you’ll be sharing.

Do this as many times as you need. You might do this every day leading up the the start. Or once a week.

It’s a very powerful step in getting into energetic alignment with that vision that you are holding.

4.  Act as if…

Once you’ve got yourself into that energetic state and you have visualised, then act as if that circle is full. See how that impacts in the way you show up. See how that informs the conversations you are having. And how that helps you to stay in that place of enthusiasm and joy and excitement for your circle.

If you find yourself waning, and it’s not filling up as quickly as you’d like and people aren’t booking, come back to your energetic state. Tune it to what feels out of alignment. Go within and see if there’s something there. See what’s going on.

One of the ways I ‘act as if’ is to pay for the venue. Once I do that,  it’s like an activation switch inside me that tells me that the circle is going ahead, so I commit to showing up, regardless.

5.  Gratitude

As I said earlier, I often creating a virtual circle on my wall with Post It Notes. As each woman books her place, I write her name, a lovely big love heart, and I say, ‘Thank you so much’.

There are also practical steps. I send out an email to say thank you and confirm details.

It’s about coming into deep gratitude. Focus of the women who book, rather than focusing on how many haven’t.

If you aim for 12 (for example), and you have 4 booked, it can be very easy to focus on the 8 vacant places instead of having deep gratitude for the 4 who have. The more you focus on the empty places, the more empty they stay.

The more you can pull yourself into that place of appreciation and gratitude, the more you can maintain that absolute knowing that your circle is going to be perfect, and the more you can maintain the energy and belief that that gathering of women will take place, and it will be exactly as it is meant to be.

Every group of women gather for a purpose, and a lot of that purpose is unseen, and we may never know it. The more you are in alignment and committed to showing up, the more you’re holding that space for the women to join you, the more likely your circle will fill.

6. Hold the Faith

There are practical, beautiful steps you can take to make it easy for people to book. Talk about it with confidence. Share when it is. Allow women to know that it’s happening. Show that it’s available for them to book in. Then remember that we all have different purchasing ways. Some women book very early on. You also have women like me, who are total ‘last minuters’. I will always allow women to book right up until the circle starts. I assume. I act as if. That may mean that somebody arrives on the day and has to pay on the day. So just remember consumer behaviour differs. Some book early. Some book late. And there’s likely to be a gap in the middle when no one is booking, and that is where holding the faith is so, so important.

Hold your vibration high. Keeping speaking from that space. Keep sharing it. Keep visualising it. Keep acting as if, because you know it’s going to happen.

If you can create content, buy the supplies, and keep taking the steps as if it’s going to happen, you will come through that phase in the middle, where perhaps no one is booking in.

7. Surrender

Come from a place of being of service. Step out of the way that it’s all about you. Remembering that it’s about the women who are joining you.

Remember that each circle is its own entity. Connect to the soul, the spirit of your circle. You’ll often receive guidance or an idea of a particular person to reach out to, or a particular place or time to share your circle. I really ask you to embrace the energetic preparation. It is SO important.

Practical preparation such as having a booking link, booking the venue etc, as well as energetic preparation are both important.  We can’t ignore one or the other.

Act as if. Have faith. Know that your circle will be complete and exactly as it should be.  

Have faith and trust. If things don’t go according to plan, know there are reasons for how things play out that may be unseen in our current reality. Check in with where you were in terms of clarity, visualisation, energy and so on. If you really feel you did all that, surrender it. Let it go. Know that, for whatever reason, that whole process has served a purpose that may not be obvious to you.


If you have any questions, come over to the Facebook page and join the conversation there and tag me in so I can respond.


Big love

Mitle xo


040 Kellie Guenther: Spiritual Sustainability

Kellie Guenther is absolutely enthralling to listen to. In this episode she shares her journey to Spiritual Sustainability. She discusses how we can live in alignment with Mother Earth and what that involves.

Kellie has studied Environmental Biology and went on to obtain a Masters in Environmental Engineering Management. She has a diploma in yoga and is also intuitive. She utilises all of these complementary tools to offer an integrated and holistic approach to living in a way that embodies Spiritual Sustainability.

What we talked about:

  • Spiritual Sustainability is a fusion of spirituality and ethics A merging of ecological principles that earth is governed by.
  • How our society has forgotten it’s connection Mother Earth
  • The state of affairs as they are now and what we can do about it
  • How principles of yoga assist in caring for the earth and the self
  • What the ancients knew, that we have forgotten
  • How to make small changes and stay out of overwhelm
  • How to stay in the correct state of mind to have faith and be effective

Kellie works 1:1 with people wishing to deepen their connection to earth and do their best for it. She focuses on body, mind, soul and earth. It is an approach which is beneficial to the client as well as the planet, integrating the tools of yoga, science and intuition.

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Listeners can book in for an obligation free 30 min chat below here

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039 Clare Foale: Essential Self Care Made Simple

Clare Foale is a writer, speaker, and idea weaver in the area of self-care. She says that when we practice self-care, when we take care of our soul and connect with our self, we feel calmer, more creative, less resentful, more patient, more in flow, more pro-active, and less overwhelmed.

It was wonderful to explore ways to bring self-care into our daily lives.

What we talked about:

Clare’s experience with Post Natal Depression

  • Her initial disconnect with the concept of self-care
  • Clare’s journey to discovery and of the value of self-care
  • Misconceptions about what self-care is
  • Self-care and it’s relationship with connection to the soul
  • Tuning in to what self-care steps are right for you
  • Recognising self-care activities that are often overlooked
  • The difference between ‘doing’ self-care and receiving self-care
  • Self-compassion and self-responsibility
  • The importance of giving AND consciously receiving openly with gratitude
  • The importance of showing yourself and others, by your actions, that you are a priority
  • How to weave self-care ‘snippets’ into ordinary activities

Questions to ask yourself to find your own guidance:

  • If you had 24 hours to yourself, what would you do?
  • When you’re calmest, what are you jealous of?
  • If you were going to a three day retreat or workshop, what would it be on?
  • What books did you love as a kid?
  • What were your favourite subjects as a kid?
  • What did you want to be when you grew up?
  • How do you feel when you go swimming or when you’re in nature?

From the answers, we discover the sometimes obvious (yet unnoticed) things we’ve overlooked and create a ‘Joy and Peace list’. A menu of self-care that is powerful and exciting for you. We can then look at how to implement things into our day. Not as an obligation, but as inspiration.

From the answers, we discover the sometimes obvious (yet unnoticed) things we’ve overlooked. The next step is to create a ‘Joy and Peace list’. A menu of self-care that is powerful and exciting for you. We can then look at how to implement things into our day. Not as an obligation, but as inspiration.

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Everything Else

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038 Swapna Thomas: Show up, Speak up, Stand up

The final episode of this season is an incredible conversation with Swapna Thomas.

Swapna is a Marketing Coach and Content Strategist and we dive into that and go far beyond it!

What we talked about:

  • sustainable and joyful business by being YOU
  • Purpose and Personality
  • Inner Engineering
  • the principles of Yoga
  • Being a feminist in India and the impact of Colonialism
  • Addressing the patriarchy
  • Why she describes herself as a spiritual explorer
  • Her 4 Ps – personal, purpose, people profits
  • Sharing your story and how to be alluring, compelling and intriguing

Official Bio:

Business consultant and coach to women coaches and online entrepreneurs. I help you #ownyourzone, be more visible & stay authentic by clarifying your message & content marketing strategy.

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